No day but today…
Thursday, April 20th, 2006
Looks like this is the direction my life is going. Regional work.
After having released my first full length film last June 2005, and going back to advertising work (to earn some mula to pay off the debts i incurred while doing my film). I have not stayed in manila longer than a month. It started out with a string of projects in Vietnam which brought me to working for hongkong agencies then to kuala Lumpur. All in all, 10 months of being away. Christmas at New Year lang ang pahinga.
It’s been great but tough as well.
Getting to work with other excellent filmmakers (Producers and DOPs) from Thailand, China, and Malaysia as well as creatives from Europe and America is an absolutely enriching experience! And, if I may say so myself, being appreciated and respected by them is equally inspiring! In these past ten months I have gained more international experience than the rest of my life and it’s been exhilirating! But, but, but I cannot deny that the loneliness of hotel rooms kills me! No matter what suite or penthouse they woo me into, it does nothing to wipe away loneliness…and loneliness breeds stupidity…stupidity breeds depression. Oh well, I guess no situation in life is ever perfect or we wouldnt have anymore to look forward to. I try my best to spring open the shutters and let in the cheery light and i think i’m getting better at it - getting used to hotel breakfast buffets ALONE, TV channel surfing ALONE, net surfing ALONE, not to mention the plane trips, immigration lines, airport inspections, long transfers, connecting flights, arrogant french Creative directors, and helpless horny nights ALONE!
But who is complaining?!…I’m not ;)… I can’t …I wont…will never ever…because this God’s plan for my life and it is good.
Loneliness is a state of mind. Part of our nature but can be turned around to work out for the best.
I pray. It helps in heaps. I see no other way of alleviating the pain of loneliness…but prayer.
